Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
