so explain again why im purple
no
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
