Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
