So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
