suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
