I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
