He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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