so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
MIDGETS
????
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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