We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
