Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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