walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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