my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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