Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
