WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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