Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I pour the whiskey from now on
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
