how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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