I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
