You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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