I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
