Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
