They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize