weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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