So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
