Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
