I want to have your abortion
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
