He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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