i jhust puked up my retainher.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
