You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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