So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
