We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
