Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize