i think my mom watched the whole time
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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