The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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