I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
