yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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