How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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