this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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