I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
