we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
