I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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