I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
