he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
