if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How does one acquire holy water?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
