I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
