my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
