Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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