He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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