So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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