I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
