I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
