someone threw a dead crab at me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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