He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize