i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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