Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
