What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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