ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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