ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
