Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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