she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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