I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I will pee on everything he values.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
