I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
