I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
