Are we in a gay sports bar?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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