i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
