What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
