I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
