For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
