tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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